My Heart’s Desire

For the past month or so, I have been doing a series on Sunday nights with (my) middle school and high school students called “God Story.” God Story was the first theme of MFUGE that I went to as a camper in 2006. It was then I understood that I had a story to tell and that my life and my story mattered. I summed up my experience and what I learned by stating that: we each have a God Story and that God Story is the story that God gave us to tell the world about who He is and what He has done. With that premise, we explored our testimonies. I gave mine, and they worked through theirs. A lot of them took it seriously and some did not finish working on it. I think this is the first time that they have ever had to write it down and really think through their story.

Over the past two weeks, I heard from one of my former students, that her friend unexpectedly died and even though she was not close to him, she still took it pretty hard, to the point of tears, which for her is a huge deal. I texted her and was praying for her and the family. But it made my heart sink to even begin to think, “what if it was her (my former student)?” I had to shake the thought away, because I became emotional. Another former student told me that she was worried about her in that regard, because she did not know where she was with the Lord. I used those emotions to tell (my) current students the importance of their assurance of salvation. Granted, I only was able to tell this to (my) high schoolers, because there was only one middle school student. I used Mark 4 (which was a God moment because I did not remember where this parable was, and when I flipped open my Bible, God turned me right to Mark 4) and the Parable of the Sower. I taught out of Matthew 13, but the God moment definitely made an impact! I explained to them that there are 4 types of people; 4 types of soil and for them to think which one they were. I could see some of them, my group of seniors, really process and think about it.

Then, last night was one of those moments, where if given more time, I would have balled. We had a prayer night for MFUGE, as we leave on Wednesday. I read from Romans 10:1, 8-15, 17 and again referenced the 4 types of people and how they respond by hearing (which is a recent theme God has been showing me through the Parable of the Sower, as well in this passage in Romans 10, where belief and faith come through hearing the Gospel). Romans 10:1 states: “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved.” I read the context and then told the parents sitting there in the sanctuary, that my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that these students may be saved. I could have balled right then, but I didn’t. After the students were prayed for by the chaperones and the parents there, they in turn prayed for the chaperones. There were tears flowing from students to chaperones. I was then invited by the Pastor’s family to come to their house for dinner and I accepted the invitation. It was there as we were talking about the students and what I had said during the prayer service (to be intentional in conversation as other students from other churches are not saved, but are coming to camp), that we started talking about the salvation of (our) students. They mentioned one girl and the tears started to come as did the questions. She was active in youth, somewhat of a leader, can answer deep questions, and assisted me in VBS and also was a student in my VBS classroom. But they said that they don’t ever remember her making a public profession of faith. I read her testimony. Granted, none of them said “at this day, or this moment, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord.” But still, I was in disbelief, even though I should not have been. The Pastor said that she was afraid to come down front, even though they have talked about it and to her parents. I really started to pray that this week at camp, she will make that decision public.

This morning as I have been catching up on my lectures for seminary, I was watching the Hebrews lecture, which should have been watched 3 weeks ago…..(clears throat) and my professor mentioned absolutely everything that I have written above! He mentioned Mark 4 and the Parable of the Sower and then read Hebrews 6:4-8 and explained: “This passage (really starting in 6:1) is addressing people who appear to be Christians, not those who can lose their salvation. They give evidence of being a Christian, have been a part of Christian community, and even experienced Christian blessings, but at the end of the day, are not truly saved.” He elaborated more on this statement, but I could not pause my lecture fast enough and long enough to get everything he said about this statement written down. The fact that he mentioned this coupled with the conversation I had last night at the Pastor’s house, I was in tears. He had just described this student; and most of the youth in (my) ministry. Within that moment, God started working in my heart, flooding my mind with statements and ideas and prayers. This week at camp is going to be pivotal! First, it is my first big event as their Youth Director. Second, this is my first time going to MFUGE as a Youth Director and not as a student, as MFUGE is a huge part of my story and testimony. Third, I need to take every opportunity to facilitate the Spirit moving in the lives of these students, especially in Church Group Devotions, as many are like the passage in Hebrews 6; they appear to be Christians and have been apart of Christian community and experienced blessings, but are not truly saved.

I did not know how much me reading Romans 10:1 last night was going to impact me today! This is the verse I am clinging to with full hope, promise, and expectation of God to move and work in these students! It is my heart’s desire and prayer that they may be saved! Not because of me, the work I do, the lessons I teach, the activities I do, but because of God and their need for a Savior.

“For everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord, will be saved. But how are they to call on him whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’ So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” Romans 10:13-15,17.